While at school, Martin invites the class to his birthday party. Edna Krabappel and Seymour Skinner show up and so do Bart, Lisa and many others. As one of the dishes Mrs. Prince serves oysters. When Seymour spots his mother trying to enter the party he and Edna go and flirt in Martin’s teahouse. Everyone but Bart, Edna and Seymour leave the party sick because of the oysters. Bart stays a while and sees Edna and Seymour kissing. At school they overhear Bart about to tell Milhouse, Lewis and gang about what he saw, so Krabappel and Skinner take Bart into the principal’s office. They make an excuse which fails, and bribe Bart by saying they will clear his permanent record if he keeps quiet. Then they start using him as their messenger, by pulling/sending him out of class to send messages to each other. It works for a while until they go a little too far. Bart tells everyone and proves it by opening the janitor’s closet to reveal Krabappel and Skinner kissing. Rumors go from parent to parent about them having sexual relations. Superintendent Chalmers fires Krabappel and Skinner, but Bart tells them that they should demand to stay employed. Krabappel and Skinner lock the school and a mob watches as they demand their love be respected. Maude Flanders tells why they are upset, and Seymour reveals himself to be a virgin, satisfying everyone. Their relationship is legal, and Bart is out of the picture.

Marge lets Bart read her junk mail and he comes across a credit card application. He fills it out with the name Santo’s Little Helper, his dog. When the application is approved and he gets the card, he starts spending like a madman, not realizing how credit works. He even buys a collie named Laddie, this dog is so perfect, that he neglects his old dog. Eventually the repo men come to take back everything he bought, including one $1200 dog. Bart gives him Santa’s Little Helper instead of Laddie, but he soon misses his old dog and grows tired of the new one. Laddie gets local attention when he saves a baby’s life, so Bart gives him to the police and then searches for his old dog, and finds him living with a blind man. The blind man calls the police when Bart breaks into his place. When the police come, Laddie finds pot on the blind guy. Bart leaves with Santa’s Little Helper as the police smoke the blind guy’s stash.

Lisa wakes up early and begins working on her new hobby, recycling. Mr. Burns comes to talk to the school, and Lisa asks about him about his recycling program. He brags about how much money he has, but Lisa and Smithers reveal to him that he has very little money left. His yes men have never told him that his stocks have been losing money. Mr. Burns has to move from his house and the bank forecloses on the power plant, putting Lenny in charge. Nobody has any sympathy for Mr. Burns and he ends up in the old folks’ home. He tries to regain his fortune by using Lisa’s recycling program. She refuses him initially, but he presses on until she caves. They recycle, bringing in small amounts of money and they eventually gain enough money to build a recycling plant. It contains an invention that sweeps fish out of the ocean and makes slurry. This horrifies Lisa and she begins to tell people to stop recycling. When Mr. Burns stop by with a check for her for $12 million she refuses it; giving Homer four simultaneous heart attacks.

Marge takes the family to church; afterwards she notices how little of an effect it has on them. She goes to talk to Reverend Lovejoy about it and she becomes a volunteer. Homer brings to the kids to the dump and there they find a box with Homer’s face on it, which really creeps him out. Because Reverend Lovejoy is terrible at giving advice, Marge takes over that aspect of his job; Reverend Lovejoy stopped caring about the congregation a long time ago. When the calls come in, Marge does a great job. Homer investigates the box and finds out that it is a Japanese dish detergent. He calls up Japan to inquire further and they send him a promotional videotape, which clears up the mystery behind Homer’s face. It is the company’s logo; a combination between a fish and a light bulb. Reverend Lovejoy soon finds that Marge outshines him, so he gets depressed. When teens start to hassle Flanders he calls for advice, but Marge screws up on the advice she gives him. The teens continue to harass him all night and into the next day and he ends up outside of town at a zoo. Marge brings Reverend Lovejoy and Homer to save him. Baboons try to kill Flanders and Reverend Lovejoy goes in to save him. The adventure brings Reverend Lovejoy a new inspiration for his job.